


in these unprecedented times

by TheFlirtMeister



Category: Belinda Blinked Series - Rocky Flintstone
Genre: Gen, Letters, Pandemics, Sir James Godwin Sends A Letter, Steeles Pots & Pans, Yuletide Madness, Yuletide Madness 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27786391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlirtMeister/pseuds/TheFlirtMeister
Summary: We will get through this. We will survive. We can shag our way through anything.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 12
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2020





	in these unprecedented times

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cinnamongirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamongirl/gifts).



> merry crimbo! saw this prompt and couldnt resist.

Dear Steeles Pots & Pans Employees,

As I gaze out onto the empty streets below the Steeles Pots & Pans offices, the town hall clock ringing out its mournful cry, I still know that the worst is yet to come. The London office is quiet, with not even Des Martin’s weeping to fill the silence.

Nevertheless, I hope this letter finds you well in these unprecedented times. I have asked Bella to post these letters to you all, so am unsure when you will receive them. We know that Miss Ridley is not often trusted with the mail, but she enjoyed licking the envelopes so much that we left her to it.

This pandemic is a once-in-a-century event, the like not seen since Belinda Blumenthal’s nude portrait was unveiled in 2015 to much applause. I still remember the look on Bill from HR’s face when the curtains were pulled back – and the lawsuit that came from it.

It is thus with heavy hearts, and heavy bosoms, that we announce the closing of all Steeles Pots & Pans offices, both at home and overseas. We request that all employees work from home from now on, and are sending state of the art webcams, microphones, and Only Fans logins. I am assured that the young folk, like Maeve from reception, will also be on hand for technical support.

We know that things will be different in the current climate. Pleasing clients will be a lot harder, with no chocolate body paint, French libraries, or garden trellises to sweeten the deal. There will be no blue cheese fish mousse, free non-stick tin woks, or even turkey. However, we have absolute faith in our employees, and know you will give our clients a fucking good time.

We are also using our company resources to help with the corona virus outbreak. Professor Slintz has abandoned the tri-oxy brillo range to focus on creating a vaccine, Doctor Robbins is scaring people into social distancing, and Paddy the barman has been turning his alcohol into hand sanitizer. It may only be a small fish, in a big pond filled with sharks, but we are doing our bit. For Queen and Cuntry!

I am an optimist at heart, which is surprising, considering my 3 ex-wives, and I am viewing this as a chance for change. I am therefore taking this lockdown opportunity to search for my 4th wife, organize my chardonnay collection, and work out how to use Twitter. And also look at the business expenses and see why we’re wasting so much on key account managers.

We must remember that this company has survived worse. Do we not all remember Bella’s drunken escapes at the charity ball, involving the hairbrush, the vicar, and Toffee Apple Chew? And who could forget my niece, Kolanski vodka, and that undercooked steak. (We try not to remember that dastardly business with Giselle).

We will get through this. We will survive. We can shag our way through anything.

Sir James Godwin

CEO and Chairman of Steele’s Pots & Pans


End file.
